Failure

Wednesday, November 16, 2011 0 comments


Nenek has been hospitalized for about, a few months, in and out. The thing is, I'm pretty used to Nenek being hospitalized. Cause, since the moment I knew Nenek she was already in bad condition. But, not bad enough to give up.

During the end of October to a few days of early November, Nenek was in real bad condition. Multiple strokes. Breathing- 100% mechanically. Multiple organ failures. And macam macam lagi. I was agak sedih those times. Kept updating with abah and ummi. My cousins, Pakciks and Makciks, semua kept visiting Nenek at hospital. Abah did it in between meetings. It was sort of scary, sebab the doctor said that this time, if she fails to give response, the doctor will just let her be.

The night of 5th November. I had this dream, where Nenek is gone and everyone was said. This dream where The Roh of Nenek was watching me playing badminton in my house (?) Where, I was talking, gossiping with The Roh of Nenek macam dulu dulu.

The morning of November 6th, Abah texted, "kakak, nenek dah sedar, Alhamdulillah." The happiness, only God knows. They celebrated Eid ul Hajj with Nenek in the hospital. Who cares, dalam Hospital or at kampung kan? As long as there is family.

A text came in.

"Allah sayangkan nenek. Nenek meninggalkan kita semua pukul 6 pagi ni. Doakan supaya Allah merahmati nenek dan meletakkan nenek di golongan orang orang yang beriman dan disayangi Allah"- Abah

The morning of November 7th. 6am, +08:00, Malaysian time. God took her. Just like that. Maybe Allah wanted her to spend the last Aidul Adha with all of her cucu and sons and daughters. Now, a person that used to teach me Bengkulen. A person that thought me how to kopek bawang dengan mudah. A person that thought me to become cerewet about cleanliness. A person that I will never forget. A person, that I shared a lot of gossips with. She is now gone.

Nenek ingat tak dulu kakak selalu picit kaki nenek? Even nenek ada satu kaki aje. Ingat tak dulu kakak kasi semangat kat Nenek utk berjalan. Utk menikmati udara luar, eventhough kena pakai wheelchair. Nenek ingat tak, kakak suapkan nenek makan masa kali terakhir kakak jumpa nenek kat hospital haritu, sebab kakak dah nak balik Mesir? Nenek ingat tak, Nenek skype dengan kakak masa kakak kahwin, nenek cakap, "Alhamdulillah, selamat pengantin baru!" Kakak ingat semua tu nek, Kakak rindu kat nenek :(

Wallahu'alam. Orang lain korbankan lembu, unta dan kambing. For our Eid ul Adh, I lost my nenek. I guess, the Qurban-er became the Qurban-ee.

Here I am, crying, sebab nenek had 4 out of 5 main organ failures. Causing her death. If only I she had found matching organs, she might've been alive. kan? But, kuasa Allah. Allah Maha Besar. Allah sayangkan nenek dan taknak tengok Nenek terseksa dah.

Therefore, friends. Here, I am asking you. Please. Help others. Help those people whom needs an organ, or multiple organs. They need your help.




Alfatihah, untuk Nenek tercinta, Allahyarham Nurullayni Othman. I love you nenek, with all these tears I shed while writing this. Only God knows, how much I miss you.

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